Smarty Pants

I think Ed is trying to stay in the places that won "creepiest travel destination name" in a previous issue of Freak Traveler magazine or something. A few days ago, it was Dead Man's Lake and yesterday it was Destruction Bay. Makes me want to buy up some land in Canada and name it something strange - like Desperation Cove or Inconsolable Isthmus.

Those of you who know Ed know that he's not much of a talker on the phone. I find I have to just let him stop and think for a while and then, he comes up with stories. For instance, when he stopped to get his daily V-8 somewhere near the Canada-Alaska border, he happened upon an isolated store that was truly arctic in spirit.

They sold crystals, Miracle Grow, peanuts, soda, and other random things. As a business model, you would think "huh?", but up there, you never know what people are going to need, miss from back home or have a craving for, so you stock it ALL in small quantities.

The couple running the place were "65 if they were a day" and just talked smack to each other and their guests all day long. The wife ran the register and constantly reminded the husband to actually take money from the customers for items he was selling them. Apparently, he felt it was enough to schmooze and make jokes, but she was focused on paying their exorbitant mortgage and perhaps saving enough to leave. What a harpy.

When Ed rolled up on his bike, the old boy was outside moving rocks around or something. He saw Ed and asked, "Need any gas?" Smarty pants.

Ed told him that he had eaten Buckshot Betty's spaghetti and meatballs last night, so he was fine for fuel. So the guy made up some kind of song on the fly about Betty and her spaghetti and Ed and his bike. Seriously in need of cable TV in the arctic, I guess. They have all that creativity to waste - sad, really.

At one time, I could picture Ed and I having a life like that - running a little hotel or something and giving people good-natured grief all day. But I have to say, it's good to be in civilization again. Driving around Denver, I see more bike riders on the road every day. He's going to fit right in here.

After thinking it over, he's probably going to take the ferry, from either Haines or Skagway weather depending. It's just too stressful for all of us to be focused on when he'll run in to snow - as he surely will.

For now, here's the link:

CLICK HERE FOR THE MAP LINK YA BIG FREAKS

Stolat!